Here is a cartoon I drew in 1996, called Alien Embryo Boy, it is an adult oriented humor.
Well, I decided to start posting some of the recipes I invent here for you to all try out.
I am a hobbyist cook. I enjoy creating gourmet meals that are not only good tasting, but a complete meal. Most of these meals are also price effective. To me, gourmet does not need to be expensive. That is a misconception from higher class restaurants that has spilled over to our everyday lives. Gourmet can be cheap.
As always, the best beverage for this meal is a great beer. I live in Germany, so I always use German beer. But a Microbrewery would also be great to compliment the dish. For this I would recommend a Pilsner or a Hefeweitzen beer.
I hope you enjoy these burgers and fries as much as we do.
Team U.S.A. Cheddar and Mushroom Burger
Ingredients: (makes 6 large burgers)
2 Lbs Ground Beef (Mixed Ground pork/beef, or Ground Pork)
Fine bread crumbs
20 White mushrooms
4 Medium onions
6 slices Cheddar Cheese, 3mm thick (Thicker for more flavor)
Sliced Dill Pickles
6 hamburger Buns
Crisco Vegetable shortening
About 2 hours before preparation of meal, mix ground beef, one egg and bread crumbs together with salt and pepper. create 6 large patties and place on plastic foil. separate patties by foil. place in refrigerator. This will ensure the patties retain their shape when cooking on grill or skillet.
Preheat a pan with a spoonful of Crisco. Cut onions in half, and then slice into 1/4 inch slices. Cut mushrooms into 1/2 inch thick slices and place into pan, frying them until the onions are beginning to brown. Add three large spoonfuls of honey and fry until onions start to become caramelized. Add salt and pepper to taste. Place pan to side.
Preheat grill or skillet, cook patties to desired wellness. place Cheddar cheese slice on patty 1-2 minutes before removing from heat. Allow enough time to simply melt the cheese, and not cook into the meat.
Toast the buns and place on a plate.
Place patty onto bottom bun, spoon onion/mushroom mix onto the top. Top with 2 pickle slices, one leaf of Lettuce and ketchup.
Twice Fried Fries
6 Large potatoes
Cut potatoes into 1/4 or 1/2 inch thick french fries. cutting the length of the potato is best.
place all slices into a large bowl, and sprinkle with chili powder, mixing together ensuring all fries are coated lightly. let the fries sit for about 5 minutes, allowing the powder to best adhere to the fries.
preheat deep fryer, and fry fries for about 5 minutes. Repeat process until all fries have been fried. Place fries into a bowl to hold until ready to cook for meal.
Place the fries back into the fryer for about 10 minutes. ensuring that they have been thoroughly cooked, and are a deep golden color. The color will vary based on the amount of chili powder placed on the fries. Obviously fry longer for a more crispy outside, and shorter for a more tender fry.
remove from fryer and place into a bowl, add a small amount of pepper, and then add salt to taste.
serve with a small bowl of ketchup, or your favorite condiment, enjoy.
Photos and serving suggestions:
It is amazing to me, that even outside the realm of the army, almost 20 years to the date later, these comics are still being read, and liked. I did them on my own time, mostly when we were out in the “Field” doing our movement exercises, or training how to more efficiently kill someone. It was nothing more than a way for me to be able to pass time, and keep practicing another form of writing, one that I liked, in picture form. Sure the humor is immature, and crude, but it was supposed to be. I was not trying to inject adult mature humor or political satire into my stuff, I just wanted to make people laugh at what I though was funny.
I would often let my friends read what I wrote, and ask their opinions. Mostly it was positive.
So why is it 20 years later I am now making them available to you all to read?
Well, honestly I don’t rightly know. I found my old note books, containing hundreds of stories, either finished or just begun, either comic or word, that I accumulated over the years in the Army. There is some 15 or so of them.
I continued writing and drawing until the day I left the Army, and even to this day I am writing novels and stories based on ideas that seem to haunt me in my head.
I decided simply to start adding them to my blog, and see what people think.
I hope you like them…
Here are some Comic strips I made when I was in Iraq in 2003. It is the story of my wife, two boys our cat Lucky and dog Boo-Boo.
Hope you enjoy them.
Again from 1996… I had not thought people would have liked the first one so much, so I was kinda forced to make a second. Little did I know AEB would become such a cult thing in my Army Unit at the time.
well, this would eventually be the last AEB, minus a “Poster” I designed. I will eventually post it on here as well… Hope you enjoyed…
As per the prior conversations between myself, and Andrew G. Alt, please check out his blog site. It is a fascinating site, that is fun to read.
I highly recommend it to everyone of my followers.
Luke pointed out that the emperor’s overconfidence was his weakness; so, in my opinion, the emperor would not have made plans for his own demise because it’s something he never foresaw.
I hope the next movie doesn’t involve the evil Galactic Empire. Seeing the Death Star blown up twice by the Alliance taking advantage of an architectural defect was enough for me; and in “reality” I’ve seen it blown up over 40 times, if I count the number of times I’ve seen the movies.
I believe without a doubt that we will be seeing the Empire again. As strange as it may seem. Just like in our world, we took out the head of Alkeida but the entity is still around. So imagining a 30 year time span where the Empire has been secretly rebuilding itself under a new leadership is not too far fetched. In fact, it is a realistic story plot. I am hoping it is a leader that is far more different than Palpatine, more dependent upon his followers, and hopefully also, better plans for super space stations… Ha ha ha
As for Luke’s statement. I believe Palpatine had every possible outcome planned. He always had an apprentice, a right hand. We don’t know how many he had out and about in the universe traveling around spreading the seed of the Sith. Palpatine as a Sith believed in a single Sith, infiltrating the system to take it over from inside, through subversion, as seen in episode I to III.
Later when he was in charge, I believe he would have stiffened his grip by bringing the Sith order back, having an anti Jedi group.
This may not happen in the films, but as a leader as he was it would have made the most sense.
The Emperor was quite overconfident, always being in the same place as his super weapons, which was his weakness in the end.
I love these talks. If you have more thoughts, I would love hearing them. In fact I will post these discussions as a page on this blog, so more people can read them as well, see if we can stir up some more as well between us.
J. J. Abrams, is a world renowned writer, producer and director. His bodies of work as a writer include the television series Alias, Felicity, Fringe, Undercovers and the hugely popular Lost. These shows helped solidify him as a well known writer of stories in a weekly format. His film credits are just as well liked, Forever Young, Super 8, Cloverfield, both of the Star Trek re-imagined films and now the eagerly awaited Star Wars Episode VII.
If you do a search online, you will find a million websites speculating the possible plots for the next installment of the Star Wars film. Reporting on rumors, possibilities, and news being purported to be leaked from sources inside the Lucasfilm family.
However what people are forgetting when they speculate on the possibility of the J. J. Abrams screenplay is who has helped write it to begin with, J. J. Abrams himself with Lawrence Kasdan (Co-writer of the most beloved in the original series, The Empire Strikes Back, along with Raiders of the Lost Ark, and Return of the Jedi) Both writers love exploiting certain elements in order to create a driven and entertaining story. Interpersonal drama.
The Interpersonal drama was well seen in The Empire Strikes Back. Luke learns that Darth Vader is his father. Battles himself as Darth Vader on Dagobah, Han Solo is captured and frozen in Carbonite and the Empire seems to be solidifying their defense against the Rebellion. This story line is then finalized in Return of the Jedi, as Luke learns of his sister, faces the realization that he is the last of the Jedi in the universe, and must eventually make a hard decision to stand his ground against his father, and direct opposite, Darth Vader. Vader eventually faces his very own demons and turns against the one who seemed to take him under his wing, and mentor him as no other had before, Darth Sidius ( AKA: Emperor Palpatine)
It seems poetic that these two writers are teaming up for the next three films. They both really love their turmoil between characters in their stories.
So what do I believe we can expect to see in the next films?
We do know that these stories will happen 30 years after the end of Return of the Jedi, as announced by Lucasfilm themselves.
I believe there will be a very dark and deep story beginning in the first of the trilogy. Here are points we can expect to see.
We can expect to see certain places we love, especially Tatooine, which seems to play a large part in the Star Wars universe. Its secret should be answered within the course of the three films.
This is my belief based on my understanding of the writers. Both of which are ranked among two of the greatest story tellers on any screen of the last century. Their films and television series are rife with trauma.
To understand what will be coming in the next films, we must understand both of the writers, their belief system in the story telling process, and understanding they are planning these films as a three part series. It is not a single film, as A New Hope was originally intended.
With the understanding of these, we should be able to better predict the films before they come out.
If you have thoughts or ideas, I would love hearing them.
Please comment, or message me on twitter, @lancegoolsby
John and Jack had ran for what had felt like miles on end. And finally slowed down to a walk when they noticed nothing following them. Less than three blocks away, the lights of the military base illuminated the darkened sky.
“What the fuck just happened?” Jack got out between his breaths.
The weight of the armour, weapons and the ammunition they were carrying felt like it weighed a ton. It had slowed them down while they were running, and it concerned them. They did not want to take it all off, in case the thing returned. It seemed it could help protect them from whatever it was.
Celebration gun shots were ringing off, and tracers were illuminating the night, like small glow worms making their way up an invisible thread at high speeds. The sounds seemed to be coming from everywhere. There would have been no way the guards at the base could have differentiated the shots from them protecting themselves, and all the rest.
John looked behind them, “I have no idea. It came so fast.” Sweat was pouring into his eyes, blurring his vision.
They had just passed the last house on the street. There was only a field now between them, and the security of the base. The field was eerily dark, and whenever a slight wind caught the tall grass, it moved, alerting John’s senses.
They kept moving forward.
Behind them somewhere there was a loud bang, like something hitting one of the buildings. To John it was in slow motion, as he and Jack turned their heads. The slight sense of comfort and security had now completely vanished when they noticed the figure perching on the corner of the roof behind them.
It sat there, illuminated by the single light on the street below it. On its face, a liquid, what John figured to be blood, dripped down to the street below. Its hand gripped the corner of the building, and it was crouched down, looking at the lights of the base. Slowly John saw it turn its attention to them.
John took off running before Jack, who seemed to be again in denial of what it was he was looking at.
Looking back as he ran across the uneven field, looking for footing, he witnessed the beast again leap from the building. in a single leap it covered the space between it and Jack.
Jack had avoided at the last possible moment the creature, who landed on the ground directly beside him. He was raising his rifle to fire upon it.
John was as well, and began firing across his side blindly in the direction of the beast, while he ran forward. Less than 2 blocks left to the seemingly safety of the base.
Tracer flew in the direction of the beast, and jack who was now also firing blindly at the beast, starting to run in the direction of John.
To Johns horror, he watched as the tracer from his rifle started to fly into the body of Jack, who then fell to the ground. The beast was now on its feet, directly behind Jack, moving forward at amazing speed. it grabbed Jack by the arm, and flung the body completely off of the ground, and forty feet into the wall behind them. Jacks body hit with a loud thud, and pieces of wall and jack flew through a hole created from the impact.
The creature kept moving forward at amazing speed.
Less than one block to go. Through the darkness, Johns unsure footing finally failed him, as he stepped into a hole in the ground.
He fell to the ground heavily. His breath shot out of him in a single grunt, as a large stone hit him in the chest.
John rolled onto his back, just in time to see the creature flying, what he thought to be gracefully, directly at him. within a second it was over.
Tim Jackson sat in the guard tower on the Military base watching the tracers from the celebration fire rise into the night sky. In his ears the music of Led Zeppelin’s, When The Levy Breaks blasted through the headphones.
If Tim had turned his attention slightly to his right, he would have just made out a creature ripping one of his fellow soldiers apart in the darkness enshrouded field.
The creature leaped back onto the roof of the building, and started making its way back to the security and comfort of the tall building it had resided in for the last six years.
Up on the roof, in the shade of the small enclosure that stood there, it could survey the city during the day.
The creature knew that the soldiers would send out more, when the bodies were found. but they would not think to blame the creature.
Not since the time the humans referred to as the crusades, had the creature been seen. It had gotten spotted a few times, which had created legends amongst the humans. They called him Vampire, demon, devil or Werewolf. They then told the stories to each other to create fear amongst themselves for fun.
These humans today would blame other people for the deaths of their comrades. Vendetta would ensue, which gave the beast another guise to venture out to feast.
Humans were easy to predict. They thrived on emotions, which made it easy to prey on them.
Up on the roof top, it looked out onto the city that spread out before it. Tomorrow it would feed again. Tomorrow it would relish in the chaos and gore it created.
Tomorrow it would absorb more human souls to feed its immortality.
The beast turned in time from his fresh kill, to notice two of his prey turning and running down a darkened street side.
He didn’t mind, as he already had their scent in his nose, and will follow up later.
Since as long as the beast could remember, there has been the perfect opportunity for the creature to feast when it needed. Over the course of tens of thousands of years, these creatures that referred to themselves as humans, have been fighting each other for what ever reason they felt important at the time.
Land, women, religion or race. However the beast didn’t care why, but loved the amount of souls it was able to devour in order to extend its existence. Under the guise of war, the beast could hide its feeding. These humans made it so easy. War was the perfect cover.
The beast remembers the time when it had no need to hide in the shadows. It was able to feed as it wished, as the humans worshiped him openly. They would refer to him as PramayA-Gabhasti, which translates to Deaths Hand. They would offer him the souls, and occasionally they would willingly offer themselves to him.
The beast turned to look at the petrified local man who was worshipping ans asking forgiveness from one of the many of the human gods. It reached out with its hand, and it completely engulfed the head of the puny human.
However in the beasts mind, it is the last few thousand years that humans have killed themselves in such quantities that the beast was able to hibernate between sustaining itself. There were people who were referring to themselves as Romans, Celts, Picts, Anglos, Saxons and Germanics who were systematically and without remorse killing each other. A while later there was this amazing thing that the humans called a plague, that helped the beast truly engulf itself with the souls of them.
It then took a thousand year hibernation, to awake in Europe and the humans were killing themselves in numbers that were almost impossible to keep up with. The beast was able to move between places where battles were taking place. Here the beast was able to slowly feast, and witness the horrors that these mortals were putting on each other.
Over the course of the last hundred years, there has been at some point every second of every day, at some place on the planet a war. Where the smell of blood would attract the beast. It would travel to the area where the blood was originating from, and feast itself, providing itself the needed energy to sustain its eternal life.
With the puny humans head in its hand, it looked down the area where the two humans had run. Slowly the beast flexed it’s fingers, it could feel the cartilage of the ears of the human first crack under the pressure it was placing on it.
It could feel the soul of the human slowly slip into the beasts own flesh. There was no need to feed physically on these creatures, it was only a pleasure. the flavour of the flesh, blood and the hardness of their bones actually excited the beast when it snapped in its mouth.
Still harder it flexed, and then came an amazingly loud and pleasurable snap, as the skull of the human fractured in multiple places under the pressure.
Its focus was still upon the two running down the street away from it.
Finally the flesh of the humans head in its hand gave way to allow the now over pressured internal contents to escape their torment. Its blood showered the beast in a joyous rain that stained its own flesh in a colourful cascade of crimson.
It was the exact moment the humans soul was assimilated fully into the beasts body. Deaths Hand was now slightly satisfied. However from the earlier engagement of the human with its weapon, it would need to replenish the souls it took to repair itself.
The humans body fell and slumped to the ground, it was the first time the beast had turned it’s attention from the humans who were under the impression they were escaping. The beast saw how the blood now pooled around the mangled remains of the humans head. It enjoyed the sight of the gore around it that it was responsible for. How easily humans were destroyed. How fragile these creatures were. Yet they have always thought of themselves as superior. Immortal, no matter how close to mortality they were.
These two humans thought they had a chance to be saved, redeemed from the horrors they had witnessed. The horrors that had befallen their friends.
The beast would have fun with these two.
For it knew they were fatally wrong.
The sergeant lay on the ground. His left arm shattered, and multiple puncture wounds in both. Bone fragment and blood leaked onto the asphalt. Dark crimson pools formed under his arms.
‘Why?’ he thought, as the pain became more than he could handle.
Suddenly a shot rang out. The beasts body seemed to explode right above its chest. Blood spattered onto the sergeants face. He started to feel a sense of hope.
Again and again its body sprung holes as bullets penetrated its putrid flesh. It held up its right hand like it was blocking some bright light, when a bullet whizzed by and took its middle finger with it. It’s face seemed to explode as a bullet entered its head and again exit just above it’s left eye.
It was jack, the sergeant figured, opening fire with the Squad Automatic Weapon.
Tracer, and the sound of gunfire filled the crossroads. The tracer disappeared into the creatures chest, then re-appeared as it came out it’s back. This was one of the weirdest things the sergeant could remember seeing. He thought that it looked like extremely fast fireflies buzzing directly at, through and out the back of this… thing.
The fire from Jack didn’t let up until the creature finally fell onto the sergeant limp. Blood and brain matter began pooling on the sergeants chest, and neck.
It was at this moment the sergeant caught his first smell of the beast. It smelled like rotting meat and eggs, which came from its flesh and it’s hair.
Then the sergeant saw it. It’s head, which was split apart from the crown of its head to its neck started slowly healing itself. New flesh was filling the gaps, while its brain started re-forming itself and slowly it’s face began closing the gap.
Bell arrived at the sergeant first and started to pull its foot claws out of his arms. His left arm moved strangely as he removed the last claw, and he noticed it was bent in the middle of the upper arm. Bell knew then it was broken.
“Sarge, your arms broke. This thing did a number on you sarge.” bell said as he reached for the beasts arm.
“Just get this damn thing off of me, goddamn it! Lets get the fuck out of here!” The sergeant yelled as air finally returned to his lungs.
Burch helped the sergeant to his feet, and was assisting him toward the guard shack with Bell.
A rustle behind them made all three come to a sudden stop in their tracks. Slowly all three turned their heads to see the origin of the noise.
The creature stood, it’s back toward them. It grabbed the hem of its leather overcoat and pulled it tight.
Then it turned.
It’s face was still closing the gory hole that had split it’s head into two. Then it was done, it looked as if nothing had happened to it.
“Holy sh…” Bell snapped, but could not finish. The beast sprung into the air filling the gap between them, kicking Bell in the cheek. The sound of bone breaking filled the air between the alleys. Knocked unconscious he fell to the ground like a rag doll.
In the same moment it’s left arm swung around, hitting Burch in the face with his claws, tearing muscle and tendons. His jaw came completely off of his face, spattering the sergeant’s face with new blood and saliva. The gaping hole dripped with gore and mucus. He fell to the street grasping where his lower mandible was once attached. Blood poured from between his fingers, as his tung made a kind of macabre dance in the air.
Jack and John stood helpless. The sergeant took a step backwards, tripping on a curb, landing on his butt.
The creatures eyes seemed to flash as it looked at John and Jack. It then turned its attention back to the sergeant. It’s jaws seemed to unhinge as it bent over towards the sarge. It’s mouth was growing twice its normal size. It made contact with the sergeants neck, as he started to scream and beat at it’s face with his right hand.
It bit down on his neck with a ripping sound. Piercing the carotid artery showering it’s face with fresh blood. The blood also fell like a crimson rain onto the street, and sidewalk. A suckling noise arose from it’s mouth.
The Iraqi man had not moved from his position. He uttered prayers to Allah, while fingering the beads in his fingers. His eyes shone from the sheer size of them, reflecting the light from the single bug encrusted streetlight in the road.
The sergeant went limp in it’s grasp. It released its mouth from his neck, showing the tremendously large wound. Half of his neck was missing. Bone and cartilage protruded from the flesh. His trachea was exposed, and quivered in his death pangs.
Flesh hung from the creatures fangs, dangling as he turned his face to look at the other two on the ground. It ignored Burch, still writhing in pain, and turned it’s attention to Bell, who was just shaking the darkness from his eyes. Recovering fully only to see the shining eyes of the beast mere inches from his face.
The scream became muffled as the creature covered his face with it’s mouth. A slow crunching noise, like that of a dog breaking a bone in it’s mouth, permeated the air as it’s teeth broke through his skull and jaw bone. The scream abruptly ended.
When the creatures mouth finally closed and it turned it’s head toward Jack and John, the body that had once been Bell fell onto the ground. Where his face had once been turned toward the two. The gaping hole, covering his whole face, was nothing more than blood, and bone fragments mixed with teeth, and an eye that was shrinking as the fluid leaked from it.
“Go! Get out of here” John yelled at Jack. They had been staring in horror, paralyzed as it all transpired. Reality never never set into them until Burch lay on the ground, looking at them with tears streaming down his bloody cheeks, still grasping where his lower jaw had once been. Death slowly creeping upon him as the blood pulsed from his arteries.
“Move it, Get the fuck outa here!” He yelled again, grabbing Jacks sleeve, pulling him with. Forgetting the Iraqi driver as they ran down a side street.